And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you with me that you also may be where I am. You know the way to the place where I am going.
John 14:3-4
So back in December 2010 when I gave my life to Christ, I didn't realize just how hard it would be. The battles I have had to fight with my flesh and with the world around me. I just spent some time studying the word last night. I have not been spending enough time with God on a daily basis, and I SERIOUSLY need to make the time. When I miss church or Bible study or study time with a friend I notice it in my spirit. I honestly hate missing those special times that I feel God's presence These past few weeks have been emotionally draining and I have not been filling my spirit with the truth that it needs in order to be filled completely. Working full time, planning a wedding, making time for my family and friends, but really none of it really matters.
I need to fill my spirit up with God's truth and I will find joy, peace, patience, all of those fruits - so that my flesh doesn't come through with all of the other stuff.
I was reading Psalm 18, which is beautiful altogether but what really hit me was in verses 30-35.
As for God, his way is perfect: the Lord's word is flawless; he shields all who take refuge in him. For who is God beside the Lord? And who is the Rock except our God? It is God who arms me with strength and keeps my way secure. He makes my feet like the feet of a deer; he causes me to stand on the heights. He trains my hands for battle; my arms can bend a bow of bronze. You make your saving help my shield, and your right hand sustains me; your help has made me great.
My struggle recently has been trusting God completely. What if I died, what if someone close to me died, what if I got a terminal illness. What would happen? Well, in all honesty, I know I will go to heaven. I honestly can't wait for that. I can't wait to see Jesus. But it's hard to forget that I would be leaving things on this earth that are important. It's also hard for me to think that I wouldn't get to fulfill things in my life that I thought I would.
That's where I am so wrong. God has a perfect plan for my life. No matter what happens to me or anyone around me, God knows what is best. God knows my destiny. God is in control. God will never leave me. God loves me. I just need to trust him. Oh Heavenly Father, let me trust You with all that I am.
"For now the kingdom of God on this earth resides within you, but one day your eyes will spring open to the most brilliant reality sight can behold. The kingdom of God will surround you, complete with palace, mansions, streets, horses. In ways incomprehensible now, you will reign there with HIM. All that we not call "reality" will be a mere shadow of the vivid world we have coming. Right now you are representing the King on official business in another land..."
--Beth Moore -- Esther: It's Tough Being a Woman
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